Secret place
During the holidays I've been to this place that has crystal clear water. It's not really a secret place, but I call it that because there's not really anyone there.
The rock’s in the water irritate my feet as I step into the water. The cold water rises up to my feet, I shiver as the water starts flowing to my legs. I reach for this rope near the logs so that it can help me get back out the water.
The more I step out the colder I get. It would feel like the air was attracted to me, it just sticks like crazy! I did wanna get out but gosh I felt frozen.! I was surprised by the fact I couldn't move because of how cold It was. (chchchch) I heard around the bush’s “HEY WHO'S THERE” I yelled.
“Oh just some birds!, hah”
Sunlight started to show up. Once I felt the sun I felt free to get out! “WOO HOO”
Im free! I ran out to a big land of roads, and cars driving past! I hopped on to my scooter and drove off to my mum’s house first. When I reached there I firstly told my mum about everything I did there.
(Meanwhile)
“Anddd… yeah!”
Mum: “Wow! I'd love to got there one day”
“Yep I sure will take you!”
(Night)
“Mum!! What's gonna be for dinner?”
“It's gonna be chicken soup!!”
“Mmm, sounds yummy!”
Wait it's nearly mum's birthday, so I have to order something online for her, BUT what does she like though?”
Angeleen, I love the first half of your story. The way you describe your secret place is really good. And the way you tell us about how cold you are feeling.That was all very good.
ReplyDeleteBut the 2nd half of your story doesn't really fit. As soon as you get out and go home to mum it sounds like a totally different story. I'm confused about how they are supposed to fit together.
I love your story and the way you described it
ReplyDelete